My way, Uncategorized

The friendship Golden Rules

They say friends are family you can choose and I couldn’t agree more with this sentiment because it’s very important you are aware of the people and the kind of energy you allow in your life. Now a days you find the words ‘friendship’, ‘best friend’, ‘chomie” being use loosely we should be very careful who we refer to us a friend because not everyone is your friend.  Friendships are like elevators; they are either bringing you up or taking you down.

A friend is someone who has a bond of mutual affection with you, knows you inside out and still loves you for who you are. They chip in when you don’t have enough money to buy something, they are your unpaid therapist who listen to all your problems, cries and laughs with you in good and bad moments. Sometimes it’s really hard to find a person like that, I always thought I’ll be friends for life with all of childhood friends just because we had spent so much time together look at me now I hardly know them and they turned out to be completely different people which is not a bad thing at all.

Choose friends who encourage, strengthens you and shares the same values. The most important element of an adult friendship is having emotional support that doesn’t come with unnecessary criticism, rather be nonjudgmental.

A friend respects your opinions and trust your advice because it comes from a place of honesty. These are my golden rules to a long strong fruitful friendship.

Respects

As one of the building blocks of friendship, It all starts with respecting your friend’s chooses although you may not be happy with it, all you can do sometimes is lay out different options for them and being there to support them. Respect is the frame of the door.

Trust

Trust is the foundation of a long lasting friendship. This is how you build up your friendship and been able to confidential confide in a friend without worry about someone knowing your shit! And no matter what happens always respect the element of trust in your friendship even if you guys stop being friends. Trust is the key that unlocks the door.

Honesty and loyalty

The fundamental building block of any relationship. Honesty and loyalty is one of ingredients for a long lasting friendship. Not being afraid to call you out when you are making a bad choose, sometimes it can seem harsh but they have your best interest at heart. Honesty is the door of the friendship and loyalty is the door handle knowing that they can count on you.

You need to distinguish between friendly and being friends and understand the difference between casual friends and true friends. Knowing this allows you to have boundaries in your friendship.

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Fun, Uncategorized

The Ingredients For A Healthy Relational

A week

A month

6 months

A year

Maybe just maybe a lifetime.

But the truth is only you can determine how long it will last because this is an emotional investment you are making with another person. Possibly one of the biggest ones you can make because nothing hurts more like a broken heart.

Questions many of us ask before entering a new relationship. How long before my heart gets broken? How many happiness moments we will shared before we start fighting about silly things? How sure are we that this is the right person for us or are we just gambling with our hearts in the hopes that it be just end up being the right person because life is a game after all.

Here are a couple of factors that can determine how long your relationship will last. The first one being

Communication

Communication, communication I can’t stress this enough because this is how you strength your bond with your person and I’m not referring to the good morning text or the good night text but sharing something really personal which will also build trust within the relationship, especially if you are really serious about the relationship. There is nothing a like little lie to break up what you are trying to build with your person. There should be a no secret rule in your relationship this will bring you closer together.

This may be hard in the start believe me it’s not as easy as I’m writing it now.

So talk more about your goals, your dreams to show the person  that there is a place for them in your life just not only  in the present moment but also in the near future.

The sex

Let’s be honest that sex is one of the most important factor of any relationship because with sex your connection gets deeper with your person. You are sharing a secret part of your body with another person so deep that your souls are connected in the process. Happy Couples have great sex and not boring funless sex which leads to the person wanting to experiment outside of relationship. One thing to never do is to be shy in the bedroom, I know it may be hard but it’s not impossible to do. Try role playing once in a while to keep the fire alive.

The family and friends factor

Now this is the one that can make or break your relationship depending how much influence you allow them to have. It’s okay for your family and friends advice you on the person but don’t allow it to cloud your judgement or for you to make a decision based on their opinion. No relationship comes without baggage just like no person comes without a past. Everyone has the ability to change for better, it just takes the right person to do that sometimes. So learn to separate your relation from each other, if they go well together even better for you. One last thing to keep in mind is that your friends and family don’t have to be best friends with your person but they just have to be civilize towards one another.

The money factor

Let’s me honest this has cause many relationships to end on bitter note. When you are in a relationship with someone it’s both your responsibility to treat each other. If you are really serious about the future of your relationship you should try to work on this already slowly. As much as you want to spend on the person try to save together as a couple for a treat.

The love factor

When love is true and real happiness is the order of the day. Nothing kills you more than being in a loveless relationship,  forcing feelings onto someone that doesn’t want to put in the same amount of work and time into the relationship. This is the kind of stress and pain you don’t want or need in your life. We all deserve to experience true love in our life so don’t rob yourself of this amazing experience by being in a wrong relationship. When love is there it just makes things a lot easier.

Without love there is no relationship.

Last factor being “FUN”

This is so important!!! Fun moments are needed in any relationship so don’t deny yourself this part of the relationship. Play with each other because laughter is one of the best medicine,  like the saying goes “make them laugh and they are yours already”.

Those just some of the ingredients you need for a healthy long strong and loving relationship.

Little part of me, Uncategorized

Protective of My Heart

So have built this wall around my heart, just like the great wall of China to prevent unwanted people. Since my last relationship some donkey years ago I have not given my heart, body and soul to anyone the way I did with my last partner and this is not cause I’m not over him.

So my friends think I’m single cause of my silly dating requirements which I believe are not that silly at all.

Let me share with you what my requirements are
1. Clean beautiful feet, toes and nails shortly cut.
2. None Smoker,  smoking is a big turn off.
3. Honest, caring and truthful.
4. Kissable lips ( must have a shape ) not sure if this makes sense.
5. Good looking (which is everyone’s requirement).

That’s not a lot of requirements for the person who will take up a place in my heart and life. I believe in true authentic love, I have never believe in one night stands or having meanless sex with a complete stranger I met, making love is a very passionate moment for me because I’m sharing my body, soul and a part of me that I just don’t give to anyone.

So with this said I have been talking to people and ignoring others *laugh * to prove to my friends I’m ready….

The S is for serious, NS not sure and N is no.

Weirdly most of the people I have been talking to are kind of not single and I don’t want to break people up.

First one been “K” now K is in a crazy love relationship thing, not sure if it’s healthy but it works for them I guess. I liked K before I found out K was not available but we made out once thanks to wine and weed, my world those lips were magic on mine and it was just the two of us in the room I was lost in space. He is easy to talk to, makes me laugh. Just think we would make a great couple but that’s not going to happen.

Almost checks everything on my requirement list. K is N (no).

Secondly G
G has been the one since day one, we had this instant connection when we met. I was super shy but he just knew how to make me feel at easy. I almost open my heart for him cause he seemed genuine and real but I guess it was just a game for him. Playing with my feelings, leaving me confused and unsure.

We shared so much, first person I allowed to get real close to me, just to get mix signal from him.

We still talk now and then, meets all my requirements but just not the right one for me. My Mr. Wrong G (NO)

Thirdly N
I’m not sure what is happening with this one but at least N is single, just too damage from the last relationship.  Sweet person which requires a lot of work, not really sure if I’m up for that. We chat now, then, we met a week back and he cooked me. I call him the funny guy, made me feel comfortable and at easy.

But not meeting most of my requirements sadly. NS (not sure)

Fourthly S
I have no idea what is happening here. Met a while back at a event was kind of feeling him but was not sure till I man up and ask for the number chatted but the connection is weak off like MTC’s connection sometimes. Don’t feel like forcing the situation but his lips and eyes are like a mirror great to get lost into, short just like me, confident and don’t give a shit about what people think. Like that,  still have to see the feet and toes but just don’t see us mixing.

Doesn’t check off most of my requirements and definitely a No (N)

Lastly I
New on the scene but refreshing good for my mind. Crazy how we met, it was at an event of a friend, didn’t like him at first sight but later on the wine did it’s thing I guess. The next day I got the number from a friend and also dropped a friend request on Facebook.
One night I was awake on instagram it was around 4:00 in the morning, he liked one of my pictures and I slipped into his DM. Short story we exchanged numbers and started chatting like crazy.  The sweetest moment was when he woke me up with a text cause my alarm didn’t go off that morning… smile but I’m confused about him. We met for the second time this weekend, he gave me this big ass hug, he makes me smile. He has this innocent face, cute ass smile and he wears glasses what more can I say about this book lover. Still have to see his feet and toes.
Not sure about him, don’t want to get into something just not yet. Taking my time on this one.

To my friends don’t say I’m not trying. All I want is someone who will promise to take care of my heart cause I have been single for a while now.

I’m die hard romantic, I believe in love, in the promise of giving myself to the one I love not like but LOVE.

I’m opening my heart up for disappointment and hurt