So today’s taxi ride was like no other, like it’s the first time I didn’t want to get of the taxi.. Wait I’m lying but back to the story.
Just to get things straight from the start no we didn’t have sex in the taxi because that would just be crazy like really crazy but I won’t mind doing it in a taxi in the future. Nevertheless it felt like I was having sex with this person in the taxi.
Rewind really quickly so I got on to this taxi from work back home, I just jumped in not noticing the person sitting next to me in the taxi. Smile
So this is where it gets juicy, the person was sitting in the middle and out of nowhere just opened their legs, pressing it against mine for me it was nothing weird cause the taxi was not that big and my mind was on some shit I wanted to tell this ass hole at work so I didn’t notice the person till I turned my head towards the person just to look right into the person’s eyes.
Damn!!!! Lips for days just too much sauce on those lips *laugh* I had to control myself but the person was not making it easy at all. When the taxi turned I could feel the person’s strong arms pressing against mine in a soft manner which I liked, I won’t lie.
The person kept looking at me in a very sexual way, like I was a sweet banana ready to be peel. So I also played along and could not stop it.
It’s like we were having sex with our eyes while our clothes were still on our bodies but in my mind I was about to reach the climax with a smile on my face.
And yes all of this took place in my mind on my way home with a hot complete stranger sitting next to me, okay not that hot now *laugh*
Not sure where to start with this now, I have been playing this scene over and over in my mind when we meet.
Awkwardly I was not sure what to say to you because I was so freaking nervous for some reason but looking into your eyes saw my nerves melting away, the sound of your voice made me realize that it was not a dream and your smile made me realize in that moment that I was a lucky guy for having you in my life.
I guess I’m still struggling to open up to you not because I’m scared of getting hurt but the mere fact that I’m not use to shared my deepest thoughts and feelings just with anyone.
Bae hearing you say the words “you the only one who gets a part of me” made me feel like I’m ready to shared that part with you.
Sitting silence with you today was heaven on earth to my soul.
Being lost in your arm is my new favourite place, strong as the waves of the ocean, as warm as the sun’s rays on my skin, most importantly I felt safe and weird it felt right, so right. It’s official you are my superhuman.
Every part of my body was crying out for you, a burning fire took over my body and only you can put out this fire you have started.
Not sure if it’s butterflies or fireworks but I’m sure something amazingly happened when our lips met for the first. It was soft, warm and sweet. Your lips were my kapana and mine were your spice. Did not want to don’t let go your lips, with every kiss you took a brick out of the wall I have built and I was so willing to let you break down my wall brick by brick.
Yes! You are special more than special you are my person.
What is a relationship
This question has cross my mind as I’m reflecting on my relationship with people, including family and friends.
Google defines a relationship as a “the way in which two or more people or things are connected, or the state of being connected”.
Relationships are built over a period of time key ingredients for a long lasting strong one is..
Trust being one of the most important factor in building a relationship, because you will be sharing personal information with another person. To be honest I have never put my trust in anyone because people can disappointe you and I have learned this the hard way. One thing is clear tust can’t be rushed, it takes time.
Honesty and trust goes hand in hand, you can have one without the other. It turns perfect strangers into milk and coffee, the balance is crucial and needs to be maintained.
I have always been too honest with people putting my heart on the ground, just for it to be burnt by the sun, thinking people will be the shade for my heart. I guess kindness burns but that should not stop us from believing that there is good in the world and never to punish another person for the mistake of someone else.
Without communication there is no relationship, there is no way in hell you can claim to have a relationship with a person that you hardly talk to.
Not sure if there is a thing called over communicating with someone but I think I do that alot, don’t get me wrong I don’t get annoyed but sometimes I over share especially if I like you. I just feel like if I don’t talk to a person I like they may forget about me but I always tell you that I need a lot of attention *laugh* I’m that guy of guy. I have learned communicating is a two way thing, you can’t be the only watering the tree of friendship, just as you came together to plant the seeds. Nothing hurts more than losing a friend, just cause you were the only one trying to keep it alive.
Forgiveness, understanding, patience and compromising are the ideal elements of any healthy, long lasting relationship. Forgiveness is not a easy thing to do in any form of a relationship but when it’s from the heart, it builts the relationship. There are things that are simplying unforgivable also which can end a beautiful relationship that’s why understanding and patience goes a long way.
Never fight for a relationship if you are the only fighting for its wellbeing, it just stole your happiness. It’s best to move on because sadly some relationships come with an expiry date.
Almost take the beautiful moments with you. That’s what I do, it serves you no good carrying around hater in your heart because all it does is kill you slowly.
Thank the person for being part of your story and for the role they played.
Smile… Thank you for being part of my journey.
It’s been 5 years now but it feels like yesterday when you asked me to be special person. You were a breath of fresh for me, just what I needed and wanted.
You come as a surprise and I’m not a fan of surprises but you made me live my romantic movie in real life, you showed me what real true love is all about.
That night I called you, I knew deep down, our connection was magical, talking to you comes easy and mind you I was not a talker but you brought that part of me out.
I’m smiling remembering our first kiss, I was nervous and shy but as you placed your hands on my cheek, I could feel the warmth of your hands, I could feel your sweet breath against my face, you teasing me by placing your fingers on my lips playfully before bringing your lips against mine.
His warm soft like silk lips, I could taste the sweetness of his lips. Our kiss ends several moment later, leaving me gasping for air and wanting more.
My eyes move down to glance at his lips again and in a spilt second we were connected again for the second kiss, I could feel his tongue gently press against my lips , silently asking for permission to enter my mouth. I parted my lips slightly felt my heart beat faster. His tongue exploring my mouth before finding my tongue. A small moan leaves my mouth. Fireworks in my mouth and butterflies in my stomach, I found my weakness.
Was I dreaming, this feeling is way better than what I see in movies. I found my person.
Your random weird texts would always light up my face, you had a way with words just like me.
Our passionate weekend still the best weekend of my life. The playful moments in bed, the long talks about our future and just laying next to you being in your arms was my favourite place.
The way you would do things to make me happy, I remember this one time you called from a shop just to ask what chocolate I wanted *sweet moments* like that made me realise that this was more, way more.
Thinking of the night I said I love you.. I was nervous, rehearsed it over and over in my head hoping you were feeling the same way. I was sitting next to you, remembering you asked “what is wrong with me” my mouth was dry for some reason couldn’t get a word out but then the words just slipped out “I love you ” the way his face lighted up was so feaking amazing and him saying it back let my heart skip a beat.
I have some many reasons to smile looking back on our story. You will forever be my true love.
You will always have a place in my heart.
You can look forward part 2 where I will be sharing how we ended things between us.
So have built this wall around my heart, just like the great wall of China to prevent unwanted people. Since my last relationship some donkey years ago I have not given my heart, body and soul to anyone the way I did with my last partner and this is not cause I’m not over him.
So my friends think I’m single cause of my silly dating requirements which I believe are not that silly at all.
Let me share with you what my requirements are
1. Clean beautiful feet, toes and nails shortly cut.
2. None Smoker, smoking is a big turn off.
3. Honest, caring and truthful.
4. Kissable lips ( must have a shape ) not sure if this makes sense.
5. Good looking (which is everyone’s requirement).
That’s not a lot of requirements for the person who will take up a place in my heart and life. I believe in true authentic love, I have never believe in one night stands or having meanless sex with a complete stranger I met, making love is a very passionate moment for me because I’m sharing my body, soul and a part of me that I just don’t give to anyone.
So with this said I have been talking to people and ignoring others *laugh * to prove to my friends I’m ready….
The S is for serious, NS not sure and N is no.
Weirdly most of the people I have been talking to are kind of not single and I don’t want to break people up.
First one been “K” now K is in a crazy love relationship thing, not sure if it’s healthy but it works for them I guess. I liked K before I found out K was not available but we made out once thanks to wine and weed, my world those lips were magic on mine and it was just the two of us in the room I was lost in space. He is easy to talk to, makes me laugh. Just think we would make a great couple but that’s not going to happen.
Almost checks everything on my requirement list. K is N (no).
G has been the one since day one, we had this instant connection when we met. I was super shy but he just knew how to make me feel at easy. I almost open my heart for him cause he seemed genuine and real but I guess it was just a game for him. Playing with my feelings, leaving me confused and unsure.
We shared so much, first person I allowed to get real close to me, just to get mix signal from him.
We still talk now and then, meets all my requirements but just not the right one for me. My Mr. Wrong G (NO)
I’m not sure what is happening with this one but at least N is single, just too damage from the last relationship. Sweet person which requires a lot of work, not really sure if I’m up for that. We chat now, then, we met a week back and he cooked me. I call him the funny guy, made me feel comfortable and at easy.
But not meeting most of my requirements sadly. NS (not sure)
I have no idea what is happening here. Met a while back at a event was kind of feeling him but was not sure till I man up and ask for the number chatted but the connection is weak off like MTC’s connection sometimes. Don’t feel like forcing the situation but his lips and eyes are like a mirror great to get lost into, short just like me, confident and don’t give a shit about what people think. Like that, still have to see the feet and toes but just don’t see us mixing.
Doesn’t check off most of my requirements and definitely a No (N)
New on the scene but refreshing good for my mind. Crazy how we met, it was at an event of a friend, didn’t like him at first sight but later on the wine did it’s thing I guess. The next day I got the number from a friend and also dropped a friend request on Facebook.
One night I was awake on instagram it was around 4:00 in the morning, he liked one of my pictures and I slipped into his DM. Short story we exchanged numbers and started chatting like crazy. The sweetest moment was when he woke me up with a text cause my alarm didn’t go off that morning… smile but I’m confused about him. We met for the second time this weekend, he gave me this big ass hug, he makes me smile. He has this innocent face, cute ass smile and he wears glasses what more can I say about this book lover. Still have to see his feet and toes.
Not sure about him, don’t want to get into something just not yet. Taking my time on this one.
To my friends don’t say I’m not trying. All I want is someone who will promise to take care of my heart cause I have been single for a while now.
I’m die hard romantic, I believe in love, in the promise of giving myself to the one I love not like but LOVE.
I’m opening my heart up for disappointment and hurt
Thinking about the one person I should not being thinking of but when the memories are so beautiful I can’t help thinking of you.
While I was busy writing this a text from you popped up on my phone screen, telling myself this is crazy Joe.
This very person has the power to change my mood in a minute, the kind of power I don’t want anyone to have over me. Everyday I tell myself no, no I can’t allow you back in mt life because it took me a while to get you out of my heart, mind and thoughts.
So weird I’m what you need and you are what I need, we are like music together. At the same time my days are cold without you like a winter morning and I can’t keep running back to you, maybe we best at being friends.
You know the effect you have on me, like a piece of cake sweet but the long term effects being bad for me.
Guess I’m destined to always write about you and my ever so confusing feelings for you.
Stupidly I’m waiting on you to feel differently about me, one year later and I’m still hoping maybe one day you will wake up feeling the same about me.
I should know better, not to hold on to feelings that are hurting me more than making me happy because that is what not love is supposed to be like.
Only your texts can make me feel butterflies, leaving me breathing and make me look crazy to my friends. I really thought I put my feelings to bed that I felt for you.
Breaks my heart seeing you with someone else when all I want is your company, I have made peace with only having you as a friend.
Yes!! The letter I wrote last year to you left me in tears, broken in a way and you are not blame I tell myself, it was a game for you and you played with my heart and emotion knowing that you are starting a fire in my heart, one I wish I could kill by turning all warmth in my heart to ice for you.
You shouldn’t have allowed me to get close to you in that way from the begin, you used my innocence to full your loneliness by lying to me, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate you just the way you make me feel.
All I wanted was to be loved by you the way I had loved you. I was not asking for your atm card pin but for the keys to your heart, clearly you were not ready for all the love I was willing to give you.
Had your phone’s password but the only password I required was the one to your heart, mind and soul.
Sometimes find myself wishing that can make you feel the what I felt about you once.
I should stop allowing people to make my heart their play ground.
I hope you are happy with what you settled for because you never find another one like me.
My love will always be greater.
Laugh so I stepped out side of my comfort zone last night, tried something I don’t normally do and it was not that bad.
Let me take you back..
I met this guy on snapchat, don’t know how we ended up following each other but it happened.
We had this on and off chat situation on snap which was cool and all but the days we had no credit meant no chatting.
I braved up and gave my number and asked for his number, for some reason I felt at ease with him.
The on and off chatting still continued but on whatsapp this time.
Seems the like last relationship he was in real did a number on him to the point that he believes being alone is much better than being in another situation that may leave him in pieces again. I don’t blame him at all for thinking like that because love is like an ocean , you never really sure how deep it is till you get into the water. At first the water may be cold but it does not mean the water will not warm up later because water is like love no place to hold on to.
I have been asking to meet him for sometime now, seeing that we both are in Windhoek. Surprisingly when I ask yesterday if I could come over for dinner he said yes, for a moment I thought he was joking *laugh * but he was not after all.
Let’s get into last night
So I arrived at his place and it was not that weird at all because I’m super shy when I first meet someone for the first time but this time was completely different.
Not sure if it’s the fact that he made me feel at easy or his silly jokes that got me talking alot last night.
He told me what kind of music he listens to luckily we almost got the same taste in music but on the movie scene he like actions, horror films which I don’t like at all I’m more of romantic comedy kind of a guy but will take a series over a movie anytime.
The best part of the night was his cooking, it was not too bad at all.
That moments when we would just look at each other and start laughing for not reason.
Like all good things the night had to sadly come to an end. Getting a cab was just impossible, the wait was just way too long and it was cold last night but having him wait with me was crazy fun his jokes were just the ones.
Like the good boy I am I ended the night with a big tight hug.
I’m a little confused cause we have not talked since last night but maybe he his busy at work.
It’s hard to tell his emotions.
I’m sure what I’m feeling at the moment, just to early to say anything on that now.
That was my about last night.
This week reflects doesn’t have much on the cards, with so many public holidays we had this week it was hard to be productive but I was able to do a lot with the little time I had.
Let me break it down..
This week was so fun surprisingly, crazy is not the right word to use to describe my behaviour.
I was so feeling myself this week, must have been the fact that I got my hair.
The vibe at work this week felt like a political congress was taking place *laugh* not saying much on that.
I must say the highlight of my week is the hours I spent at work and the fun moments it brings which turns into beautiful memories.
My Night Out
This week a friend of mine Mark Kariahuua announced his new website and his one man show, he is a hot comedian by the way just putting it out there but I’m not sure if he is single ladies.
To make things worse the event had an open bar but sadly no food. I swear I only had two drinks *laugh * still needs to be proven according my friends ,the fact that I don’t remember what happened that night and how I got home. I must say it’s wonderfully refreshing to have care free night.
I did nothing that broke any laws luckily or else I would’ve had my first night in jail *laugh * however I did something stupid that most of us do when we have too much to drink, I’m referring to that drunk phone call and text moment. In my case I was a victim of taking a picture after throwing up who does that , to make it worse I sent the picture to the person I had a crush on, I have never be this embarrassed.
Clearly my phone had its own agenda that night and funny enough it was flat in the morning to hide what it did *laugh *.
Was a beautiful evening, with amazing people and a very weird ending.
Crush of the week
Mmmmm…. I was not completely sure if i was crushing on this person because that night I had some wine not sure about the amount of glasses and it’s not allowed to count *laugh * just made that up by. Back to what I was saying about my crush, so I saw the person again on Saturday night looking much cuter then I can remember, clearly it was not the wine. I was like God please stop this, whatever it is reason being most people look single but are dating but I must admit I have a little crush on his smile.
Best part we took a picture together thanks to wine of that other night.
Superhero of the week
My crazy ass friend Janet reason being I asked her to get information on the person I’m crushing on and she got me the name already, it pays to have a journalist friend who also wants to see you happy.
Again it was not easy getting her to do this, I had to blackmail her first *laugh* a little motivation is needed sometimes when dealing with friends.
Best Moment of my week
Seeing Oteya’s performance at the CD launch of my Ongoma , this woman is truly a entertainer she deserves to be call Queen Oteya. Never disappoints, always bringing fire to the stage. Loveeeeeeee it
Be present in the moment 😄.
To say what I feel, when I feel it. Nothing is more disappointing that unsaid words,it kills the ‘what if’ , ‘what could’ve been’ and most importantly it gives you peace of mind.
Growth is always on the agenda every week.
One of my blog post being published in the Namibian Sun Newspaper, thanks to June.
Not reacting on my emotions.
Live your life the best way possible you never know when it’s your last day.