It was rainy Wednesday evening and all I could think about was you and seeing you. Our talk was the only thing I could think about as it got closer with every hour that was passing, it was scary not sure what to expect.
As I make my way to the coffee shop seeing you sitting there waiting for me with a big bright smile and a glass of cold beer. I could see you were more nervous than me but trying to hide it behind that cute smile of yours. As I took my seat the first words to escape from your mouth were “I’m sorry babe” that melted my heart, we both had so much to say sorry for little did I know by the end of the evening you hit me with one big secret that requires a millions sorries.
As always you force the food down my throat, asking me over and over if I’m good? My answer was accompanied with a weak smile and a “I’m okay babe” .
You said you had two things to tell me a confession and a question. The first question was what are my expectation of our relationship? It got me off guard and got me thinking, my answer was short “I don’t expect a lot from you” my response really hurt you as you set with disbelief on your face but that’s how I felt. Your expectations of our relationship really surprised me, how you want to build on our love.
I swear I was not ready for your confession, something I never expected from you. As the words slid out of your mouth “I cheated on you in January because I was horny” in that moment it felt like someone took a knife and put it in my heart and turned it around going deeper with each turn not sure what to feel, you kept asking me how do I feel I didn’t reponse. I was sitting there thinking that I’m not enough for you and maybe if I had sex with you this would’ve never happened to me, knowing that you gave away a piece of you to someone who wasn’t me with all of this going on in my mind my response to you was I’m hurt that’s it you hurt me in a way that no one else has done before.
The weird part is I have asked you time and time again are you good with the fact that we are not having sex and your answer was yes just for you to go and fuck someone else. If you had only ask me for sex ?
I couldn’t stop crying for days, unable to control my emotions. Thought to myself that I gave my heart to a fool who couldn’t control being horny, the fact that you not only lied to me but you also lied to the person you had sex with.
I look at you differently now.
I did the unbelievable thing by forgiving you and allowing us to start afresh because I believe in us and our love.
As your cold lips met my warm lips I knew I didn’t make a mistake by trying again.
The promise we made to each other that night is what I’m holding on to and the love we have for each other.