Little part of me, Uncategorized

Thinking about you Thinking about you

Thinking about the one person I should not being thinking of but when  the memories are so beautiful I can’t help thinking of you.

While I was busy writing this a text from you popped up on my phone screen, telling myself this is crazy Joe.

This very person has the power to change my mood in a minute, the kind of power I don’t want anyone to have over me. Everyday I tell myself no, no I can’t allow you back in mt life because it took me a while to get you out of my heart, mind and thoughts.

So weird I’m what you need and you are what I need, we are like music together. At the same time my days are cold without you like a winter morning and I can’t keep running back to you, maybe we best at being friends.

You know the effect you have on me, like a piece of cake sweet but the long term effects being bad for me.

Guess I’m destined to always write about you and my ever so confusing feelings for you.

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Little part of me, Uncategorized

The Wrong One Who felt So Right

Stupidly I’m waiting on you to feel differently about me, one year later and I’m still hoping maybe one day you will wake up feeling the same about me.

I should know better, not to hold on to feelings that are hurting me more than  making me happy because that is what not  love is supposed to be like.

Only your texts can make me feel butterflies, leaving me breathing and make me look crazy to my friends. I really thought I put my feelings to bed that I felt for you.

Breaks my heart seeing you with someone else when all I want is your company, I have made peace with only having you as a friend.

Yes!! The letter I wrote last year to you left me in tears, broken in a way and you are not blame I tell myself, it was a game for you and you played with my heart and  emotion knowing that you are starting a fire in my heart, one I wish I could kill by turning all warmth in my heart to ice for you.

You shouldn’t have allowed me to get close to you in that way from the begin, you used my innocence to full your  loneliness by lying to me, don’t get me wrong I don’t hate you just the way you make me feel.

All I wanted was to be loved by you the way I had loved you. I was not asking for your atm card pin but for the keys to your heart, clearly you were not ready for all the love I was willing to give you.

Had your phone’s password but the only password I required was the one to your heart, mind and soul.

Sometimes find myself wishing that can make you feel the what I felt about you once.

I should stop allowing people to make my heart their play ground.

I hope you are happy with what you settled for because you never find another one like me.

My love will always be greater.

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New??

Laugh so I stepped out side of my comfort zone last night, tried something I don’t normally do and it was not that bad.

Let me take you back..
I met this guy on snapchat, don’t know how we ended up following each other but it happened.

We had this on and off chat situation on snap which was cool and all but the days we had no credit meant no chatting.

I braved up and gave my number and asked for his number, for some reason I felt at ease with him.

The on and off chatting still continued but on whatsapp this time.

Seems the like last relationship he was in real did a number on him to the point that he believes being alone is much better than being in another situation that may leave him in pieces again. I don’t blame him at all for thinking like that because love is like an ocean , you never really sure how deep it is till you get into the water. At first the water may be cold but it does not mean the water will not warm up later because water is like love no place to hold on to.

I have been asking to meet him for sometime now, seeing that we both are in Windhoek. Surprisingly when I ask yesterday if I could come over for dinner he said yes, for a moment I thought he was joking *laugh * but he was not after all.

Let’s get into last night
So I arrived at his place and it was not that weird at all because I’m super shy when I first meet someone for the first time but this time was completely different.

Not sure if it’s the fact that he made me feel at easy or his silly jokes that got me talking alot last night.

He told me what kind of music he listens to luckily we almost got the same taste in music but on the movie scene he like actions, horror films which I don’t like at all I’m more of romantic comedy kind of a guy but will take a series over a movie anytime.

The best part of the night was his cooking, it was not too bad at all.

That moments when we would just look at each other and start laughing for not reason.

Like all good things the night had to sadly come to an end. Getting a cab was just impossible, the wait was just way too long and it was cold last night but having him wait with me was crazy fun his jokes were just the ones.

Like the good boy I am I ended the night with a big tight hug.

I’m a little confused cause we have not talked since last night but maybe he his busy at work.

It’s hard to tell his emotions.

I’m sure what I’m feeling at the moment,  just to early to say anything on that now.

That was my about last night.

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My Adventurous Week

This week reflects doesn’t have much on the cards, with so many public holidays we had this week it was hard to be productive but I was able to do a lot with the little time I had.

Let me break it down..

This week was so fun surprisingly, crazy is not the right word to use to describe my behaviour.

I was so feeling myself this week, must have been the fact that I got my hair.

Work

The vibe at work this week felt like a political congress was taking place *laugh* not saying much on that.
I must say the highlight of my week is the hours I spent at work and the fun moments it brings which turns into beautiful memories.

My Night Out

This week a friend of mine Mark Kariahuua announced his new website and his one man show, he is a hot  comedian by the way just putting it out there but I’m not sure if he is single ladies.

To make things worse the event had an open bar but sadly no food. I swear I only had two drinks *laugh * still needs to be proven according my friends ,the fact that I don’t remember what happened that night and how I got home. I must say it’s wonderfully refreshing to have care free night.
I did nothing that broke any laws luckily or else I would’ve had my first night in jail *laugh * however I did something stupid that most of us do when we have too much to drink, I’m referring to that drunk phone call and text moment.  In my case I was a victim of taking a picture after throwing up who does that , to make it worse I sent the picture to the person I had a crush on, I have never be this embarrassed.
Clearly my phone had its own agenda that night and funny enough it was flat in the morning to hide what it did *laugh *.

Was a beautiful evening, with amazing people and a very weird ending.

Crush of the week

Mmmmm…. I was not completely sure if i was crushing on this person because that night I had some wine not sure about the amount of glasses and it’s not allowed to count *laugh * just made that up by. Back to what I was saying about my crush, so I saw the person again on Saturday night looking much cuter then I can remember, clearly it was not the wine. I was like God please stop this, whatever it is reason being most people look single but are dating but I must admit I have a little crush on his smile.

Best part we took a picture together thanks to wine of that other night.

Superhero of the week

My crazy ass friend Janet reason being I asked her to get information on the person I’m crushing on and she got me the name already, it pays to have a journalist friend who also wants to see you happy.

Again it was not easy getting her to do this, I had to blackmail her first *laugh* a little motivation is needed sometimes when  dealing with friends.

Best Moment of my week

Seeing Oteya’s performance at the CD  launch of my Ongoma , this woman is truly a entertainer she deserves to be call  Queen Oteya.  Never disappoints, always bringing fire to the stage. Loveeeeeeee it

Lessons learned

Be present in the moment 😄.

To say what I feel, when I feel it. Nothing is more disappointing that unsaid words,it kills the ‘what if’ , ‘what could’ve been’ and most importantly it gives you peace of mind.

Achievements

Growth is always on the agenda every week.

One of my blog post being published in the Namibian Sun Newspaper,  thanks to June.

Not reacting on my emotions.

Live your life the best way possible you never know when it’s your last day.

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My Peaceful Week

My Peaceful Week

Another reflects on a week that has passed. This was one of my most peaceful Weeks I had which is so weird for me. This week also marked our term break for College.

Let me break it down..

I have been in totally control of my feelings this week, that of people I like and used to liked.

People have a way of showing their feelings towards you without saying a word, it’s true the eyes are the windows of a person’s soul and I have seen yours this week.

Work

I don’t feel like touching on work this week, no weird story to share unfortunately just my colleagues being crazy fun individuals.

School

This week I’m including College because we are officially on break and this is one really long. It was a fantastic first term passed all of my classes and got 3rd position all over in class for this term but wanted first place. Just happy my friend is number 1 for this term, friendship goals.
Will miss all of my life loving class mates, hope you guys will make crazy memories this break and have some amazing sex please.

Crush of the week

Another week is passing by and I’m still crush on you idiot, laughing with you is the second best part of my day. Lastly thanks for keeping it real KN.

Superhero of the week

The most unexpected person is my food superhero *laugh* since last week I have be craving cake and koeksister 😊. So I ask my Co host to buy me a slice of cake and he say no however to my surprise he was waiting for me with cake at work guys I swear this single handily made my weekend. A dark,soft chocolate cake slice, with sweet jam in the inside and with every bite came an orgasm in my mouth leaving me wanting more and more, the power of cake. All thanks to my food superhero Kotjii.

Lessons learned

Not to be afraid to give into my feelings,  you only live once.
The importance of being thankful for the  people in my live.
Liking someone is okay, as long as it doesn’t hurt you in the process or makes you unhappy in any way.
Only move on when you are ready even if the other person has moved on already because your feelings are not the same and you don’t share the same journey. Wait till you are ready then close it off with your own time.

Achievements

Growth is always on the agenda every week.

Being happy without a reason.

You have 7 days, you can spend them unhappy, complaining about life or you can take those days and turn them into days of gratitude.

Learn to celebrate your life every day because it’s a gift and the best way to spend a gift is by enjoying it.